Is it true that people don't change until they hit rock bottom?
I've met some truly incredible people along the way who've overcome pretty amazing odds. They've defied cancer, overcome the loss of a child, survived a divorce and many more. What awes me is the ability of these people to move on with their lives. Are they better people because of their experience? I don't know. But I do know that their stories are inspiring.
My biggest fear was always the death of my parents. I couldn't see life without them in it. This year I lost my father. It was devastating. It still is. But what choice do I have but to continue on and cherish his memory, right?
For the job seekers out there who are still looking for work, what is your biggest fear? Is it not finding a job? Is it losing your home? Divorce? I feel sorry for you all. You are in a sort of purgatory. You spend hours a day toiling away with this wet blanket of fear weighing heavy on your shoulders.
What will you do to face your fear head on?
What if you were to resolve to the fact that you won't get a job. What would you do to survive? How would you make money to pay your bills? How would thinking in these terms change how you are living your life? Would you be able to move forward?
Thinking in this way would force many other life changes. The sale of a house. The downsizing of the family budget. Is that so bad? Who said that life was about accumulating stuff? What are the things you value most in your life? Relationships. People. Family.
Somewhere along the line, we were poisoned into thinking that life was about the objects that surround us. What if life is about the people who surround us?
When you meet people who have beat an serious illness or life altering challenges, what is it that has made them successful? Was it their ability to accept and move on? Was it their belief in relationships over objects?
What I am pushing for with this post is unrealistic, I know. But what I wish for is a society which puts the best interests of people first- not the accumulation of wealth and commodities. How many pairs of shoes do you really need? Do the kids need every new toy that comes to market? Speaking of which, how many hundreds of dollars are you spending on technology upgrades: smart phones, computers, the latest and greatest gadgets? And that improves the quality of your life how, exactly.
Doug:
You are talented and will find the right job. For now, to build back your self-esteem and confidence, take something that you will enjoy. (Just a thought).
I believe the loss of a job is as devastating as all these REAL tragic events in its impact on us. So just as you move forward with life after any of them, so too, should you move on from job loss. The impact of losing the job may change the way you view the importance of your work or the personal values you expect in return from a job. These are life changing lessons!
Happy Birthday to your father, who died much earlier than he should have. Learn from your mother how to change what you expect out of life and move forward!
Posted by: Career Sherpa | June 09, 2010 at 05:22 AM
Donna:
Love is really is a tangible "thing"! You can see it, hear it, and feel it.
Even without the four walls of a house, a loving family can have a home. I can only imagine how difficult that would be, but it is the strength of the family's love that keeps them warm and connected!
Thanks for your comment!
Posted by: Career Sherpa | June 09, 2010 at 05:16 AM
Hannah,
your best post by far!
Yes, almost like attending an AA meeting, I'll be the first to stand up and say:
"I am in purgatory"
A portion of me says "I'll never get re-hired at my age, experience, etc"....The other portion of me says "Keep networking and show your value; somebody will eventually appreciate your contribution to their team".
From your blog, each of us does have to weigh the consequences of a job loss versus some REAL loss such as a death in the family, a devastating health problem (e.g. cancer), or personal issues such as divorce....In that perspective, job loss is pale, puny, and truly insignificant.
Today is/was my father's birthday. He would have been 83 years old. My mother re-married and her husband is doing very well at 83. That is inspiring to me today....not the need to go out and buy more stuff.
Thanks for your inspiring blogs!
Posted by: Doug Hitchcock | June 08, 2010 at 10:56 AM
Love. IMHO, the most important "thing" we can fill our lives with is love. A big, beautifully furnished house full of toys is just a structure full of stuff.
When a house is filled with love, kindness, and respect, regardless of its size, location, contents, etc., it becomes a home.
Isn't that what we all really want?
Posted by: Donna Svei | June 08, 2010 at 10:45 AM