I'm heading into dangerous waters with this post, I know. Have you ever run into someone who doesn't know when to stop talking? Or been stuck in a conversation with someone who talks about themselves the entire time? Or how about meeting someone who is so negative, a complainer, bitter and/or angry?
How do you handle these situations? I think we tolerate the person and then make our escape as soon as we can, right? But, is that the right approach?
I know that person didn't ask for your feedback, but before leaving their company, could you ask "Can I provide you with some feedback?" If they say yes, let 'em have it. It is possible that they are unaware of their behavior? Is it possible that you could be the 10th person to provide that same feedback and perhaps they'll change? Is it also possible that they'll get mad and stomp off?
Every day, sadly, I encounter people who are "damaged goods". They are riddled with negativity, lack self awareness, and sometimes are even rude. If I was an employer, I wouldn't touch them with a 10-foot pole. I also know that people in job search are going through difficult times. Yet, I don't believe this excuses them.
So, maybe it isn't your job to coach these folks, it is mine.
My six word memoir is:
Sharing information. Holding accountable. Better world.
Sometimes we get our hands slapped. That's life. I am tired of the political correctness that has taken over our society. If you are acting like a jerk, why can't I politely call you out on your behavior?
Help me here. How would things and people change if we asked if we could provide them with some feedback? Would it make a difference?
Posted by: Career Sherpa | October 31, 2009 at 10:36 AM
Hannah, it goes back to the line from the movie "A Few Good Men"- "you (we) can't handle the truth" People say they want honesty but they either don't want it or want it delivered so softly that it isn't taken as a criticism. People also don't want to give honest DIRECT feedback because they don't want to hurt people's feelings or get them mad at them. In the business world, direct criticism can be career suicide!
Posted by: Greg Siegelman | October 31, 2009 at 09:26 AM